


At Ease, My Love

by kakoosh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Ereri Secret Santa, Ereri Secret Santa 2017, First Kiss, Flowers, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Jealous Eren Yeager, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mild Blood, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Romance, Secret Relationship, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakoosh/pseuds/kakoosh
Summary: Unfortunately for Eren, there is no guide entitled: "How to Have Secret Romantic Relations with Your Superior Officer," among Armin's book collection. Notwithstanding his inexperience, he and a wary Levi attempt to make their limited courtship work whilst keeping it under wraps.Written for the Ereri Secret Santa 2017.





	At Ease, My Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vieirabar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vieirabar/gifts).



> I posted this at 3:36 am gosh, I need to go easy on myself next time XD Anyway, here's my gift for Ereri Secret Santa 2017! Hope you've had a happy holiday, callmeb-aby-arbara, and keep shipping! ^_^ 
> 
> Prompt: "Canonverse with a secret relationship that's very romantic."

_Rule No. 1: Be in a secluded location._

-x-

The thunder booming from far away accompanies Eren’s hitched breaths as he sneaks yet another glance at the Captain raising his teacup to his lips.

The storm has gotten stronger tonight but it doesn’t bother him in the slightest. Unlike all the other soldiers who are in deep slumber, dreaming of a world with no Titans in sight, Humanity’s Strongest and Humanity’s Hope often come out in the dark corridors to prowl and ponder. He can’t count the number of times he’s spent brooding with Levi in silence, just solemnly sipping tea.

He likes this comfortable ambience; engrossed in how the flames from the torches on the walls flicker in their own spontaneous, little dance, and how peaceful it is despite the weather outside, the rhythmic pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows soothing his troubled mind.

His 9-year old self would have liked to keep this secretive atmosphere to himself, to be alone and enjoy it in its entirety. Only he’s 15 now, and he likes having the Captain here with him in the mess hall…

It had started since that night on the failed 57th expedition. They've talked plenty here, mostly Eren’s concerns about upcoming missions and meeting the impossible expectations that come with being a valuable asset in the Corps. It’s become his favorite spot.

It’s even going to become more interesting considering what he’s planning to do this time of the evening but what choice does he have? The walls and shadows have had a long history of hiding the deepest of secrets. They might as well help him in that regard.

The question comes out of his mouth as quickly as he gathers the courage.

“Have you ever been in love with someone, Captain?”

It’s a far cry from the usual topics they’ve brought up in their nightly conversations. They’re both in the middle of a war—with Titans, totalitarian governments…and even themselves. This is hardly the time to discuss their non-existent love lives. Nonetheless, it thrills Eren to have asked such something so personal to the man he’s attracted to.

There is a resounding clink on the table followed by a long pause. From the corner of his eye, he can see Levi swallow the rest of the liquid down as if it were alcohol.

“That’s a new one.” He remarks.

“Well, we’ve never touched upon the subject of feelings before.” He chances another small but determined glance at the man beside him. It amazes him still how he can sit closely to him now, so different from that night when they’d been estranged and yet somehow emotionally connected by those empty seats once occupied by their late former squad.

“I didn’t peg you as the romantic type.” Levi inspects the cracks of the table for dust nonchalantly.

“I wasn’t—I was too hung up on my anger towards those monsters to care—but that was until….” Eren stops, the rest of the sentence ending with a silence that speaks volumes.

Levi is still not looking at him; his blank expression unsettles him.  “Are you sure it’s not infatuation you’re feeling? That kind of thing passes with time, you know.”

Eren is pretty sure that a year’s worth of pining no longer counts as a passing infatuation.

“No, Sir.”

“This isn’t some side-effect of the near-death experiences you’ve had, is it?”

He’s being unusually stubborn. Perhaps Eren had been too observant of Levi for his own good, enough to make Armin yell for joy. If he hadn’t, then he wouldn’t have taken notice of all the extra attention paid to him compared to the rest of his new squad, all those stolen glances and hesitant but longer-than-necessary touches meant to be nothing more than a fellow soldier’s pat, all late nights spent talking about dreams, fears, something he thought he’d never hear coming from the mouth of the presumably closed-off man.

There was also no mistaking that night, when Levi’s normally static gaze had betrayed him by flitting to Eren’s lips when Eren confided in him about the time he’d almost been kissed by Mikasa.

He wouldn’t have figured out that Levi wanted him.

Eren’s jaw is set, “No,” He says again. “There’s only you.”

For a moment, he swears he can see Levi’s jaw trembling, but he regains his mask of indifference in an instant. “You’ve surprised me twice tonight, Eren. That’s not something most people can do.”

“Then let me make it thrice by telling you that I want this.”

There’s no need to elaborate on what ‘this’ is. Levi already knows. In fact, they’ve both always known.

“Your preferences are questionable,” the older man drawls. “Won’t it be easier to pick some pretty boy or girl you can kiss, fuck, and make flower crowns with to your heart’s content? Someone who’s within your ranks? Someone your _age,_ perhaps?”

“They’re not _you_ , Levi.”

The silence stretches on. Levi searches his face, drawing out every flutter of his lashes.

“Do you have any idea of what you’re getting into?”

Eren is not stupid; they still have a front to uphold for Humanity. Any sort of attachment means taking it down piece by piece once everything goes to shit.  

Nonetheless, his resolve rises, “I really don’t,” He tries to keep the desperation out of his voice. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

Any normal soldier would have taken back what they said upon seeing Levi’s disgruntled face in the dark. Luckily for Eren, he knows better. He’s going to be on point, sword-sharp, just the way Levi likes.

“Do you really want to know?” Levi mutters.

The anticipation lights him up and he’s thinking silly things again. He needs this, the urge to explore this inexplicable tension that’s sprung up between them from that fateful day in the dungeons. From how these foreign feelings came to be, it’s still unclear to him, but all he knows now is that he needs to act lest he’ll have regrets in the near future.

He puts his hand on top of Levi’s, the touch fanning the brightness on his cheeks. He can feel Levi tense up slightly but he finally raises his head to turn and completely face him, silently challenging him to this new battle they both clearly have no mastery over.

“My lips are sealed.” Eren says.

Levi answers by moving his face closer to Eren’s.

There is no rehearsed or carefully thought out confession, not like the ones in those steamy romance novels Jean keeps under his pillow. There is only the loud clap of thunder and crackling of embers; two shadows slowly leaning towards each other….

The kiss is short and chaste but it ignites an urgency in them both, like the rushing through their veins when using their maneuver gear; trusting their mind and body to bring them in the right direction, no matter how unpredictable the swing of flight.

They pull away abruptly and Eren opens his eyes to find that Levi’s are full of uncertainty; they’re both completely clueless on where to go from here.

His heart beats more wildly upon seeing the excitement hidden within them as well.

* * *

  _Rule No. 2: Be discreet when sending gifts._

-x-

Eren’s had his share of childhood stories. There is a particular one that he remembers so vividly, it paints itself behind his eyelids.

It’s the story of two lovers whose families were locked in a century-old feud, though for what reason, it was never known. The twitterpated youths met secretly—got married in the same fashion even, only to end up dying in each other’s arms due to unfair circumstances and the clusterfuck of confusion and growing hatred that ensued between their respective households.

“If they truly loved each other, why did they try their best to hide it!” cried a young Eren, who had been seated on his mother’s lap by the hearth.

Carla had smiled apologetically and tucked a stray hair behind his ear, “Because, Eren, their love was forbidden. If they revealed their secret, they wouldn’t be able to see each other again. Not all couples are openly affectionate like the ones you see around here. Sometimes they have to keep it hidden because of other reasons than a quarrel.”

“What kind of reasons?” Eren’s eyes shined with curiosity.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Carla promised.   

She may have never had the chance to keep her promise, but Eren doesn’t need to wonder anymore. He’s gotten a good grasp on what she would have told him had she still been alive.

He wishes, privacy be damned, that he could have the diary that he once caught Hannah Diamant carrying with her to the girls’ dorms. It must’ve contained entries of the several romantic getaways she had with Franz even though it was obvious how terribly obsessed they had been with each other, the stupid couple.

Levi, being the impenetrable man that he is, doesn’t act any differently around him in broad daylight of course, when they’re surrounded by several recruits and veterans training together, mapping out territories, and purchasing more supplies for future expeditions.

It frustrates Eren, and yet the notion that every barking command or deadpan criticism that Levi directs towards his overall performance arouses him because he’s aware that it’s all on the surface. 

The shifter thinks back on his time in the barracks, specifically the more than friendly relations there between his former trainees. He never realized how difficult it must’ve been for them not to show affection whenever they liked.

Too bad subtlety has never been his style.

He craves more of it, the intimacy that arrives with Levi’s presence. He’s already sick of waking up to an absence of warmth on the other side of the bed, of sneaking down flights of cold stone steps to his dorm before the bell tower rings, of jerking off to thoughts of Levi in the communal showers to quench his insatiable desires. There’s only so much excuses he can come up with before Armin, Jean, or even worse, Mikasa, grow suspicious of his actions.

In the morning, after the Commander announces for everyone to dock up on their belongings for their next rotation to the foot of the mountains, he catches sight of Levi ambling alone in the corridors. Eren rushes up to him and without hesitance, takes his hand in his.

Levi stops walking. “What in Maria's name are you doing?” He asks, looking down at his hand enveloped in Eren’s with a bewildered expression.

“Erm, holding your hand? Isn’t this what normal couples do?”

“We…are not a normal couple.”

Levi turns sharply in all directions although there’s no one nearby, then gives Eren a meaningful look.

“You do remember we can’t be like this in public.” Levi reminds him.

“I know,” Eren replies, offering him a sad smile, “I just wanted to know what it’s like…for us to be a normal couple.”

Levi bites the inside of his cheek. Disheartened, Eren decides to let go and apologize but a shiver wracks his body and his chest swells when Levi’s hand unexpectedly squeezes his…an assurance of some sort.

The moment lasts for long, precious milliseconds until one of the squad leaders calls for attention in the field and Levi has to pull his hand out of his when they hear people (“Captain Levi, Sir!” shouted Moblit from across the hall.) filing in, the loss of contact leaving a hole drilled into Eren’s chest.

“Go pack your things and prepare to mount your horse, Jaeger,” Levi’s voice is clipped again, “We ride in 10 minutes.”

Eren spends the next few hours watching Levi’s cloak whipping out from behind him as he speeds on his beautiful, black steed. ‘Stay within 10 meters of me at all times,’ Levi had instructed him.

He wonders if he’ll ever get to close that distance and ride alongside Levi, playfully knock him off his horse with a well-placed bump, lean over and steal a quick kiss concealed by their hoods—

He’s so busy daydreaming that there are actual blue and white wings flapping behind Levi’s back that he realizes a little too late that they’ve reached one of their posts in the big forest and that everyone—including Levi—has slowed their horses down to a trot and are splitting up to look for good resting spots.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Eren panics, snapping his reins back to keep his horse from bumping disastrously into Levi’s. The action spooks the four-legged creature; she releases a short whinny and swerves so sharply in the opposite direction in her confusion that Eren falls off the saddle—yelping—to tumble unceremoniously into a nearby bush that gives off a sweet smell.

“Eren!” Mikasa and Armin gasp. They dismount quickly; Mikasa rushes up to him in an instant while Armin soothes Eren’s horse.

“I’m fine! I’m fine.” Eren groans, clambering out of the bush.

“Nice landing, Jaeger!” Jean sniggers, Connie and Sasha laughing along with him in the back; they too have dismounted from their own horses. The other soldiers who’ve also witnessed Eren’s mishap don’t say anything, but he bets they’ll be making fun out of it once Squad Levi is out of earshot. Then again, he doesn’t give less of a flying fuck.

“Keep it down, Kirschtein, or you’ll have your own nice, little landing in the stables scooping horse shit.” Levi says, finally bringing out laughter from more of the soldiers.

Eren guffaws at Jean’s constipated face but blushes furiously when Levi examines him with a stern look, equal parts warning and concern. And…is that surprise? Confused, Eren mouths a ‘What is it?’ but Levi doesn’t answer; he reminds everyone not to ‘Fuck off on the job,’ and joins Erwin and Hange in their patrol of one of the vast clearings.

“You’ve got something in your hair.” Mikasa comments, a long, nimble finger pointing a little above his right ear.

“It looks good on him, though.” Armin grins.

Eren raises a brow. He lifts a hand to pat his brown locks and feels something soft and velvety. Pulling it out, he discovers that it’s a pretty, baby pink flower.

“Mountain Valerian,” Armin remarks with fascination, leaning to the side, “Symbolizes readiness and strength…you owe them thanks for cushioning your fall.”

Eren looks over his shoulder and indeed, there are many more Valerian flowers standing—albeit bent—amidst the bush Eren’s fallen in.

In fact, now that he’s no longer distracted and has gotten a clearer view of his surroundings, he notes that there are plenty of colorful and differently shaped wildflowers in this particular area of the forest that Armin surely must know the names of, each harboring a beauty unique to its own.

There’s something about the flower in his hand that sets itself apart from the rest, though. Eren strokes its petals absentmindedly until an idea occurs to him, glee spreading across his face.

Their shifts end before dark and by the time they ride back to headquarters, everyone feels worn out and droopy save for Eren, who occasionally steals glances at Levi signing last-minute reports delivered by Moblit.

He contemplates on where he can offer Levi the gift hiding underneath his cloak but by then, Levi has already dismissed the overworked soldier and beats him to it.

“My office. Nine ’o clock sharp.”

Eren turns up at the door to Levi’s office 5 minutes before nine 'o clock. The right hand holding the carefully strung flowers behind his back shakes uncontrollably but he’s mindful not to crush them.

He raps on the door twice, expecting for Levi to tell him to come in.

Only Levi is the one to open the door himself. On reflex, Eren whips the flowers out from behind his back and extends them to Levi….

“Well, _shit._ ” Levi exclaims.

Eren’s jaw drops open. Levi is holding something in his hand too, something carefully wrapped…

It’s a bunch of the same baby pink flowers from the forest; Levi’s been carrying them all this time—and they’re for _him_.

Eren starts, “I…”

“Huh.” Levi looks back and forth between the identical flowers in their hands with keen interest.

“Um, should we…?”

“Oh, uh—yes,” Levi clears his throat, “Yes, of course.”

They exchange the flowers in awkward silence, flustered by the whole experience.

Eren speaks after a long pause, “Valerian, huh?” He nods, “Very pretty.”

Levi plucks a petal, breathing in its fragrance, “They’re well-known for their healing properties but I associate them with my mother. They were the first and only gift she received from…” he stops there, eyes hooded.

Eren offers him a sympathetic smile. “She must have really loved him.”

“That she did,” Levi fiddles with the string holding his flowers together. “She may had been someone’s dirty little secret but I'd like to believe he'd felt something for her too. She'd kept me after all.”

“I’m glad she did. At least you have a special part of her you can hold on to.” Eren gulps, “Thanks for making me one too.”

The next gift Levi offers him is breath taking…rare, like something out of a fairy tale.

Levi sends him a smile.

“You're welcome, kid.”

He pulls a flower from the bunch Eren gave him and places it in the younger boy’s hair, “This is how the normal couples do it, right?”

Eren laughs, pulling out his own flower to fit it behind Levi’s ear despite Levi batting his hand away the first few tries.

“Cute.” Eren teases.

Levi’s cheeks turn pink like the flowers in his hand. “Fuck you.”

The Captain informs him that he's still got work to finish and Eren leaves the room with his heart fluttering. He’s just on his way to where the others are sound asleep when—

“What you got there, Eren?” Hange rounds the corner, adjusting their glasses to the dim light.

Eren pulls the flower out of his hair abruptly and stares dumbly at the Titan enthusiast, “Herbs,” He replies with haste. "For uh...healing."

“Ooo, Valerians!" Hange eyes the flowers with obvious appeal. "I had my team pick those up. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought you were giving them to a special someone.” Their brown eyes hold what Eren supposes is mischief.

“Nah.” Eren chuckles nervously and rushes past them, bidding them a quick goodnight.  

* * *

  _Rule No. 3: Keep your feelings in check._

-x-

The ball is annoyingly improvident, said a mildly stressed Historia during one of their morning meetings in headquarters—but also a necessity. Besides, a celebration was to be in order since Erwin Smith had been let off the hook and the Military Brigade won control over the Walls after the revolt against the former King Fritz.

Eren isn’t as hell bent over the ordeal as most of the soldiers are. It’s bad that even his friends had slowly gotten over their reluctance to participate in such a trivial event, although the only positive thing to come out of this was to see them being their old, carefree selves back in their trainee days.

His body feels trapped underneath the sharp, dark suit Historia’s personal tailor customized for him; the loads of gel in his hair causes him discomfort.

Jean pesters him for not being able to bring a date. He looks like even more of a pompous asshole in his own suit and it’s taking so much control for Eren not to grab at his lapels. They’re going to this ridiculously expensive party for their dear friend after all.

Eren laughs darkly just imagining the large crowd’s impending outcry at seeing two of Humanity’s most indispensable _male_ soldiers walking into the room locking arms.

Nothing prepares him for the sight of Levi in a crisp, equally dark suit that hugs his broad, muscular form in all the perfect ways, hair neatly slicked back to reveal the sharp contours of his porcelain face; Eren would willingly argue that he’s the fairest of them all (with some protest from Jean).

He’s caused many heads to turn that night, so many that it rivals the number of heads that turned to Historia and Mikasa’s beauty. Women whisper excitedly behind their fans and men sneer at having their spotlight stolen by the notorious figure that is Humanity’s Strongest, though Eren is sure that they’re secretly in denial.

Eren has received his share of unwanted, hungry looks too. He realizes with a shudder that his presence is being likened to the red steaks being served on silver platters for this evening’s dinner. But no one ever makes a move on him, not even the rest of the Survey Corps soldiers, who are trying to make their dancing more dynamic and elegant to no avail.

The nobles also avert their eyes when they’re caught staring at him but do not act, not even once, on their interests in the famed shifter. Perhaps the repercussions of dancing with a Titan in a human’s body were too much for their faint hearts to bear.

It gets even worse. The orchestra starts playing their first piece, and that’s when Eren gives up on playing the part of the cool and refined gentleman that Hange coached him to be.

He can’t stand it, the sight of those pampered, _older_ women in those poofy dresses with their pounds of makeup and sickeningly sweet perfume flocking up to his Captain. Control yourself, his brain screams at him.

Every caress from their gloved hands down Levi’s back and clean, shaven undercut when he twirls them around on the wide dance floor provokes the beast within Eren. They don’t know him the way he does; that thought alone keeps him from acting outrageously.

It’s not only the women. Even the men, who have finally given in to Levi’s supposedly mysterious charm, make complete asses of themselves by subtly flirting with him whenever he so much as passes their way in the middle of dances, phony smirks and winks looking all the more vile under the gleam of the magnificent chandelier.

The music seems to never end. Over and over, Eren watches Levi being forcefully whisked away by a different doll in the throes of the Viennese Waltz.

Halfway through the 5th dance of the night, Levi’s newest partner, a brunette with bright green eyes, gets too close to Levi for comfort and whispers in his ear. Nausea washes over Eren when Levi chuckles at her probably scripted, cheesy pickup line even though he knows it’s only a ruse in order not to upset Historia and further place the Survey Corps in a bad light.

 “Eren?” Armin nudges him. He had just come back from dancing with Mikasa and is holding a wine glass in his hand.

“What?” Eren replies, not taking his eyes off the couple going in for a Throwaway Oversway.

“You’ve been staring at the Captain all night. It’s like you want to dance with him.”

“Yeah…” Eren says, oblivious to his best friend’s surprise.

“Well, we’ve all noticed that you’ve been doing it a lot even before going here. Months in fact,” Armin presses, but Eren doesn’t reply. He’s too fixated on where Levi is rotating among all the swishing hems and tailcoats.

Levi dips the woman at the dramatic snap of the violins, their chests pressing closely together. The she-devil locks her eyes onto Levi’s and proceeds to slide a sinewy, gartered leg up along his thigh…

Armin’s drink is suddenly pulled out of his hand. He turns in protest but it’s too late; the liquid has already sloshed down Eren’s throat.

“Eren!” Armin takes the empty glass back from him, giving out an exasperated sigh. “Just go dance with someone else, will you?” He raises a finger before Eren can object, “And a proper one this time!” He gestures to the throng of whirling bodies.

The sound of hearty laughter rings in Eren’s ears. The wine is working wonders, quelling the jealousy that’s been bubbling in his chest ever since the dancing began.

His first and last dance of the night is with a befuddled queen, a ‘passionate’ performance which has earned mixed reactions from the audience.

“Trying to make someone jealous?” Historia inquires coyly after the rather winged dance, offering Eren a spare handkerchief. Eren blushes and thanks her for covering for his amateur leading skills; he ignores the looks of amusement and mortification sent his way and goes out into the large garden to get some fresh air, his suit a little wrinkled and some tufts of his hair broken free from their prison. He’s decided that he’s not a party person.

“The queen? Really, Eren?” comes a voice from behind him.

Eren whips around, nose flaring.

“You…” He closes his eyes, breathing in deeply in order to keep from exploding, “Y-You and that girl. You were very comfortable together.”

Levi raises a brow. “So? She’s only a duchess—”

“Exactly!” Eren shouts, gesturing wildly with his hands. “It just hurts to see how much they want to own you, like they can just take turns flaunting you in front of everyone while I’m…” he tries to compose himself once more, “…just a walking hazard who can’t even lead properly.” He’s folding his arms around himself now, doing his best to put on a brave face.

He shouldn’t feel like this. They’re only stupid dances. But the thought of never being able to enjoy Levi’s company out in the open while those snobs can pains him and—

“If it’s any consolation, Eren, I couldn’t wait to get those spoiled brats’ filthy hands off my body.” Levi scoffs.

Eren perks up, “But you looked like you were really enjoying yourself out there—”

“God, I wanted to slaughter them.”

“Why?”

“What do you think? They were keeping me away from you.” He shoots Eren with a pointed stare.

Air rushes out of Eren’s head and suddenly his cheeks are on fire; it’s the first that Levi’s ever made him blush with spoken words and not through baby pink flowers or brief but tingling touches in the hallways.

“Oh, Eren,” Levi sighs, stepping closer. Eren breathes in the scent of his cologne, minty but not overpowering, like cracked leather and tea on a cold, winter morning. It suits him well.

“Do you know how many times I had to pretend it was not them but you dancing with me instead?” He’s within Eren’s space now, not bothering to hide how his eyes are roving appreciatively over his form hugged by the bespoke suit. Levi slowly trails them back up to his face and reaches out to brush his knuckles delicately against his cheek.

“That lady from before,” he speaks softly, as if someone might be listening in on them, “she’s just like all the others, pretty and rich…”

Insecurity latches onto Eren again but he fights against it immediately. Levi may be his but he’s not his to _own_. Not even behind closed doors.

Levi carefully swipes his thumb up and down Eren’s cheek, soothing the boy.

“But you know that’s not what I want. They’re not what I want.” He pauses, “They’re not _you_.”

Eren’s heart stops. Those last few words are an echo from that night, before they shared their first kiss, back when they were frightened and confused but so eager to jump in and explore.

“Driven, compassionate, admiringly brave…” Levi continues, moving his thumb to Eren’s lips then parting them slightly, putting on a smirk as he lowers his gaze to them all slow and cat-like, “…and great at talking shit. One would be a fool to give you and your smart-ass mouth up just like that.”

Eren sputters a laugh and Levi lets out a gruff one of his own before backing away a little, gazing fondly at his gorgeous beast in black.

Without thinking, Eren offers out his hand. Levi blinks at it for a solid five seconds before he’s staring up at him with wide eyes.

It only occurs to him that they are not too far off from the arch leading into the ballroom. From where they’re standing on the neatly trimmed grass surrounded by rose bushes, anyone from inside would be able to identify them should they come nearer.  

They’re not hidden in shadowy corridors this time. They're out in the open, the moonlight shining relentlessly upon them.

“Eren—”

“No one’s going to see us. Historia will make sure of that.” Eren assures him.

“Fair point,” Levi admits, recalling Historia’s relentless nature, and then another smirk broadens his lips. “Now that I think about it, you’re also giving me a chance to make it up to you, right?”

Eren rolls his eyes but smirks back and stretches his hand out more, “Then take it.”

Levi places his hand in Eren’s and moves closer to get in position but not before lifting their interlaced fingers to press a kiss against them. He places both of their hands on his chest, trapping them with a salute.

Eren’s pulse can’t get any quicker; he probably looks moony-eyed and stupid and he’s honestly afraid of how much he’s willing to land hard and fast for this beautiful man.

He brings Levi’s palm to press his lips against it too, then moves to kiss Levi, sweetly and passionately. Levi makes a pleased sound and cups his face in his hands to pull him in deeper, countering him with deliberate, almost timid kisses of his own. Not even the most splendid of riches can earn those nobles this priceless moment.

And so they dance. Style is far from their minds. They’re both content just slowly spinning in circles embracing and kissing each other, their steps imprecise but effortless.

They can’t help being conscious of the countless stars smiling down on them for exposing their secret. 

* * *

_Rule No. 4: Avoid intimacy at work._

-x-

It’s hot. Everything is so hot.

His senses are caught up in a familiar, blurry haze. The world is blocked from his subconscious and it would be so easy to succumb to the scorching, blissful heat engulfing his body.

Eren is aware that he’s often his weakest around the 4th transformation…but he couldn’t allow another death, not even an injury.

Every warning shot at him had been promptly ignored; he’d bitten off the newly regenerated skin of his hand and the goal to chew the abnormal’s head clean off its body was all he could register. He’d prioritized the safety of more lives over his own yet again, and he’s presently dozing off, spiraling further and further into deep red, black…

Yellow…white….

Rays of white light pierce through, hurting his eyes. There’s a gurgling sound overhead and it’s coming from a large indistinguishable figure swooping down on him—and then a sudden white-hot agony courses somewhere down his lower half. But his lids remain shut and his expression is one of calmness; bearing excruciating pain is second nature to him. 

Before he knows it, the figure dissipates from view and a dull shout resonates inches away from his Titan form. He jolts when strong arms wrap around him and forcefully rip him off the decaying skin. In a flurry of dizzying colors, he’s being carried down and laid on the steaming, bloodied grass, someone hovering above him.

He opens his eyes and squints. It’s too bright for him to discern his savior’s features but he gradually regains his hearing and there’s no mistaking Levi’s powerful voice. He’s bellowing strings of what are probably orders at an alarming pace.

Eren wishes he can speak, let Levi know that he’s fine, that he can re-transform and take down one more, just one more Titan. But even the rasp is gone from his throat and his muscles refuse to cooperate with him; he can only gaze up helplessly at Levi’s tear-streaked face…

Tears…

Eren has  _never_ seen Levi cry, not even during all those months spent chatting into the night about philosophies, shitty higher-ups, and absent father figures—he believes that nothing else will ever shock him within an inch of his life.

He’s wrong.

The Captain is cradling Eren in his arms; pressing his thin lips against his temple which is slick with slime; rocking him back and forth to the melody of battle cries, hissing tanks, and swords slicing into Titan flesh.

Levi sobs into Eren’s chest, mumbling, "Don’t die. Please don’t die. I can’t lose you…"

It’s the most daring, heartfelt affection Eren has ever received _._

Eren feels like screaming. ‘ _Levi,’_ he wants to remind him, _‘You should be out there fighting with the others, not sitting here with me…’_

He knows damn well it’s not his only reason for protesting.

_‘We can’t be seen like this.’_

_…._

_‘Let me go before they’ll notice us.’_

_…._

_‘You told me yourself.’_

_…._

_‘Remember the rules; get your true feelings under control…’_  

….

His head is spinning; he struggles to form a proper sentence but he just can’t. Levi is gripping him so tightly it hurts; it’s dangerous out here… and yet he’s never felt safer, _happier…_.

Levi’s mouth gets close to his ear, “Enough, Eren. No more battles.”

A lone tear lands on Eren’s cheek, and that’s when he loses consciousness.

When Eren wakes, he’s in Levi’s room lying in bed shirtless. He no longer smells like blood and Titan vomit and he can’t feel his left leg…

He sits up at lightning speed in time to see Levi coming out of his private bath with a washcloth on hand. Levi sees him awake and he’s at his side in an instant, pressing the cloth against his forehead.

“You’re alive,” Levi gasps, “You reckless bastard…”

“How long was I out? What happened?” Eren’s voice comes out cracked.

“Only a day,” Levi checks his pulse then heaves a sigh standing up. “You might want to look down.”

Eren does and the sight before him leaves him out of breath. There is a stump where his left lower leg used to be.

“The abnormal you killed had a twin. Nasty little fucker got to you before I could intervene.”

“It’ll grow back.”

“You could've died out there.”

"You know I wouldn't let that happen."

"I know but..." Levi chokes with downcast eyes. "...for a moment, it looked that way...."

Eren doesn’t know what to say to that. Attachment or not, he’s still willing to fight for Humanity’s cause, no matter how much it breaks him inside knowing his friends could be taken away from him any single day…just like he’s almost been taken away from them.

And Levi…were it not for him, Eren would’ve been taken away from him too…

Levi brings him back to focus, “The rest of the squad are waiting in their rooms. They arrived just before you passed out.” He avoids his eyes.

The gears click into place. They’ve seen Levi holding him tenderly on the grass; they’ve seen _everything._

“Do they…know?” Eren asks.

“They’re a smart bunch. I won’t be surprised if they’ve caught on to us at this point,” Levi confirms, dark, ocean blue eyes cutting into his soul. “And I don’t care.”

A huge burden lifts off Eren’s shoulders and his eyes are springing fresh with tears, “So do I.”

“That’s no secret to me.” Levi says, taking Eren’s hands in his; he rests his head on Eren’s lap to hide his own tears threatening to spill onto fresh linen sheets that smell of sunshine spilling gold over the horizon, like freedom on a mattress.

* * *

  _Rule No. 5:_

-x-

Even after Eren’s leg has long since grown back, he refuses to get out of Levi’s room. He knows that once he does, he’ll have to face his squad mates and he’s not up for proving their claims on his relationship with Levi. Not now, at least.

“I’ll be heading out,” Levi brushes his shirt, “Got to tell your friends how you’ve been.”

“No!” Eren pleads. “Please…stay with me…”

He gently pats the space on the bed next to him and puts on his signature puppy look, praying that Levi will not decline.

It works.

“Ackerman’s going to give me a headache tomorrow.” Levi groans; he strips his shirt over his head, leaving him in nothing but sweatpants, and slips into bed. Eren immediately sidles up to his solid frame.

“She’ll get around,” Eren says into the surprisingly delicate skin of Levi’s throat, latching his lips onto a patch of it and giving a light suck, “They all will.”

Levi cards his fingers through his hair, “At least Erwin’s not gonna have a word with you.”

“I guess he won’t mind.” Eren traces invisible patterns on Levi’s sleek, scarred muscles from years of combat.

“I can’t guarantee the whole regiment will be just as neutral,” Levi flicks his nose. “Just imagine the rumors…the Clean Freak and the Suicidal Blockhead…spotted sucking each other’s dicks hanging by their maneuver gear…"

Eren snorts into Levi’s side, “They can go fuck themselves.”

Later into the evening, Eren will pretend he’s asleep, and wait for an unsuspecting Levi to hold him close and press a kiss to his forehead. He will smile in the dark at hearing Levi’s whisper of ‘I love you,’ into his hair, and the rhythm of his steady breathing will eventually lull him into sleep; secret meetings at the dinner table in the mess hall out of his mind.  

He will dream of a world with no Titans in sight, of broken down walls letting in hopeful rays of sunshine and promises of adventure; of his friends holding sticks with fish and marshmallows impaled on them instead of bloody, steel blades, of him and Levi in civilian clothing, strolling through the streets and holding hands like a normal couple. He will dream of a world where he will get to say ‘I love you, too,’ for the whole world to hear.

He smiles brightly noticing that there is warmth present on the other side of the bed when he wakes in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on my Tumblr, [dallyingdivergent](http://dallyingdivergent.tumblr.com/) ^_^


End file.
